Baby Shady
by CrazyCindy
Summary: A parody I did a few years back for Eminem's song "Kill You" off The Marshall Mathers LP


[Verse One]

I'm just a little baby boy my mama used to struggle to raise me/ She used to tell me I was a grown man/ She used to remind me I was 23/ Then I got a little more mature and realized I had to stop having fun/ but there's nothin I enjoy more than chasin the cat around with a water gun!

They said I can't act like I'm 4 no more/ They say I should start actin like I'm 24/ Punks, you think I won't get too bored not stealin candy when I walk in a store?/ These ugly buggers are thinkin I'm gay/ Thinkin I'm playin wit toys to amuse my baby and not to enjoy my day/ Put the guns down, bully, don't shoot me/ I'm just a poor little pussy that acts stupid and cooky/ Shutup, dummy, you causin too much static/ Just unplug the vaccum cleaner, I'm tryna watch TV okay Dad?/ "Oh, now he's being ordered by his own father, watchin cartoons, drinking milk out a bottle, and we say he's mean and hollow?"/ You god-damn right, lady, and now it's too late/ It's 10:00 at night and my mommy said I gotta be in bed by eight/ I invented wailing/ You crying little babies are waking me up at night again/ I'm tryin to cuddle with my cute little Teddy Ruxpin/ SING, SING, SING!/ I'm scared of chainsaws/ My little brain's all/ shakin in my head/ Is it empty yet?/ Mud, mutts, fun, butts/ Why, do, I, cry, so much!?

[Chorus]

Bitch, I spilled the juice!/ Come clean it up for me/ While you're down there make sure my diaper's clean/ Bitch, I made a poop!/ Answer all my calls for me/ And I ain't gonna learn to drive, here, take the keys/ You better spank me!/ I'mma be another rapper who wets the bed/ Gimme my food bitch I need to be fed/ You wanna sue me!?/ For puttin the world to sleep?/ Bitch, it's true, I think I just hit puberty!/ I said you don't wanna fuck wit Shady! cuz why? Cuz Shady is just a baby! *giggle* You don't wanna fuck wit Shady! why not? Cuz Shady is a little baby!

[Verse Two]

Bitch, I'mma cower!/ Like a baby, I can't take a shower/ I like bubble baths that smell like flowers/ Don't bug me/ I know I smell/ Get the hell out/ I'm trying to develop another ego that I can sell out/ I don't wipe my ass/ My mom does it faster/ Blow up this balloon for me, bastard/ Whoops! Is that the smell of shit?/ No! It's the smell of somebody who's too poor to pay the rent/ Eminem got a friend?/ No! Eminem all alone/ And if he ever gets one it'll be a personality of his own/ And if you see him with Dre then/ and they're handlin coke/ The Doctor's only gettin back somethin he leant/ Bitch, I spilled the juice!/ I ain't done yet, this ain't the chorus/ "Yeah, we know, go ahead Eminem, continue to bore us"/ A barf stain is tan after you wash it in the tub 3 or 4 times, but that's the plan, ain't it Stan?/ A cartoon character hiding lyrical failure inside an Ice Cube CD ontop of your stereo/ There I go again/ I'm out of ideas/ I gotta go peepee and I can't find my tiny penis!

[Chorus]

Bitch, I spilled the juice!/ Come clean it up for me/ While you're down there make sure my diaper's clean/ Bitch, I made a poop!/ Answer all my calls for me/ And I ain't gonna learn to drive, here, take the keys/ You better spank me!/ I'mma be another rapper who wets the bed/ Gimme my food bitch I need to be fed/ You wanna sue me!?/ For puttin the world to sleep?/ Bitch, it's true, I think I just hit puberty!/ I said you don't wanna fuck wit Shady! cuz why? Cuz Shady is just a baby! *giggle* You don't wanna fuck wit Shady! why not? Cuz Shady is a little baby!

[Verse Three]

Know why we babies scream?/ Cuz ladies ain't clean, they got cooties na'mean?/ And the way things seem/ I shouldn't have to see these shrinks every week/ so I can make more sense when I speak/ Spoke? Whatever, I hate being teached/ And I hate it when those priest do preach/ Howard Stern wants me to come on his radio show just to argue wit him cuz my vocab stinks!?/ FAUCK DAT!/ I don't even know how to pronounce it/ But I can spray you some of my bullshit, all 70,000 pounds of it/ I suck milk outta nipples and I got this clown nose/ From being in school, to flunking school, to being a fool/ I can't even believe I'm teething/ I'm leaving my tooth under my pillow for the tooth fairy to be seeing/ Okay, I'm ready to go play!/ I got the spaghetti and O.J./ I'm ready to have a fun day!/ You dumdums keep naggin me on/ Till I start rappin a song/ And you beg me to stop/ Shutup!/ Gimme my Barney bed sheets!/ I said shutup, piggy!/ Mommy, you hear me!?/ My Pampers leaked!

[Chorus 2x]

Bitch, I spilled the juice!/ Come clean it up for me/ While you're down there make sure my diaper's clean/ Bitch, I made a poop!/ Answer all my calls for me/ And I ain't gonna learn to drive, here, take the keys/ You better spank me!/ I'mma be another rapper who wets the bed/ Gimme my food bitch I need to be fed/ You wanna sue me!?/ For puttin the world to sleep?/ Bitch, it's true, I think I just hit puberty!/ I said you don't wanna fuck wit Shady! cuz why? Cuz Shady is just a baby! *giggle* You don't wanna fuck wit Shady! why not? Cuz Shady is a little baby!

Hahahahahahhh.....I'm just playin Eminem, you know I love you.


End file.
